My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
