He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
