As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize