There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
