I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize