yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
