Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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