I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Randomize
