just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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