ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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