this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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