Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
My vagina is officially offended.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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