My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
