Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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