I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I deserve this hangover.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
