wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
