Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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