Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Let's get the cat blown out
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
