and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
