remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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