Taylor Swift is so right about you.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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