Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
