There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
How does it feel to date your dad?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
