just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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