I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
one might say we're banned from that church
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
