I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I just pynch a tree in the face
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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