I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
