Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
