i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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