im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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