I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize