if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
