I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
