dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
