The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
