as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
