he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
you inspire me to be a worse person
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
