sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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