She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize