My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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