just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
