what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
