shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
