btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
