dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
