All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
