so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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