fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize