OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
