i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
So squirting runs in the family.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
