Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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