I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
