i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
