I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
