ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
