just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize