Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize