A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
