why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
my poor anus
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
