I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
