what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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