I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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