I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
