He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
