Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
